CAREGIVERS IN TRANSITION:
FINDING PURPOSE AFTER LOSS
If this is you –
you have been caregiver for a loved one –
perhaps a senior parent or other relative –
or caregiver for your spouse –
and now that loved one has died –
Your life as you know it has been forever changed.
You have been dealing with grief – the tears, the loss, perhaps feelings of emptiness, of not knowing where to go from here.
It might be your spouse, to whom you had been married for several years. It might be a senior parent or other senior relative, with whom you had a close relationship. Or it might have even been a strained relationship. But there was still a bond there.
As you move through the grief and the emotions it brings, you will come to a point – sometimes sooner, sometimes much later – when you realize you still have a future ahead of you – your own future.
We caregivers who have been through that loss often feel lost ourselves. Suddenly we are not needed in the same way. Something we did for weeks, months, perhaps even years, is no longer necessary.
Does that mean we are not needed any more?
NO! Of course not!
We are still needed, but not in that same role.
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Now we get to choose our own future!
And that possibility of choosing our own future can be many things –
- Exciting
- Scary
- Confusing
- Breathtaking
- Colorful
- Difficult
- Liberating
Or any combination of these emotions and more.
At some point, you will be ready. Ready to move forward.
You will be ready to plan your life and set new goals – even though at first you might only take very small steps.
That’s perfectly ok. Small steps are better than no steps.
It doesn’t mean you are no longer grieving. Please remember you will still have times when you deal with grief. That may continue for quite a while.
But give yourself permission to plan a future for yourself. Permission to be happy. Permission to find joy in small and great things. Permission to express gratitude.
You can move forward if you will find a purpose in life that’s bigger than you are.
Finding purpose in life after the loss of a loved one can be healing. It can create a sense of anticipation, a reason to get up and get going each morning.
Your purpose in life doesn’t have to change the world. But it will change your world. It doesn’t have to be earth-moving big. But it will be big enough for you.
You have much to give, much to learn, and much to share. You have life experience and talents and skills that are needed. Open yourself to the possibilities that your future holds for you.
I will be happy to work with you. That walk through grief is not easy. But know that when you have a purpose in life that’s bigger than you are, you are giving yourself healing and love.
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